Calvin on Himself

All DESIRABLE things in life are either :
ILLEGAL :(
BANNED :(
FATTENING :(
EXPENSIVE :(
OR
MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE ;)
:from unknown

I recently started reading these comics and got fascinated let’s have some of selected Quotes by Calvin on himself

I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it’s great to be male!

I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers’ lounge.

That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.

What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ‘em?

Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

This one’s tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen …

I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life … Procrastinating and rationalizing.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?

I’ve been visualizing the conceptualization process. That’s the hard part.

Are you crazy? This is a stupid, boring, time-wasting forced assignment! This isn’t fun!

Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test.

When you get something, it’s new and exciting. When you have something, you take it for granted and it’s boring.

I can’t help but wonder what kind of desperate straits would drive a man to invent this thing.

Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?”

I’m not sure that man needs the help.

Calvin: I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What’s misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I’m a genius

Calvin : You can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.

C:I’m a simple man, Hobbes.
H:You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!
C:I’m a simple man with complex tastes.

Nobody asks me how things oughta be! I’ve got tons of ideas!

I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in and overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak.

I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.